Awwww. How sweet.
Ok, I’ll get back to this picture in a minute. First – let me tell you a little something about myself.
I’m a jerk.
Oh yeah. It’s true. When I’m upset about something, I become an inconsiderate, irrational know-it-all who cannot see anyone else’s point of view but my own. Especially when I’m already tired or stressed to begin with. Anyone else like that, or am I all alone here in Jerkville?
Now, my boyfriend definitely knows this about me. He has been a prisoner in Jerkville a few too many times. And sometimes he likes to put a positive spin on this aspect of my personality by referring to it as my being passionate. Passionate. *Giggle* (He missed his calling as a politician.)
But, then there are other times. The times when he’s fed up and has had enough of the scenery in Jerkville and is ready to go home – that’s when he’ll call it like it really is. He says I get crazy.
Ok, I’ll admit it. Both are true. Sometimes I’m passionately crazy. But it’s because I feel things. You know? I feel them to my core. There’s no half-assing it with me. (Pardon my French.) When I feel it, I feel it.
Now, sometimes that’s a good thing. Sometimes it’s a wonderful thing actually. I know I love with all of my heart, and then some. I’d go to the ends of the earth for you if you’ve managed to win my heart. And honestly, I kinda like that about myself.
But when the tide turns? Ohhhh boy. When the tide turns, it’s not such a good thing anymore. It can get ugly fast. Yep – it’s a flaw. My biggest flaw, perhaps. I admit it.
I, Melissa Caudill, am a flawed human being.
I know, I know….shocking, isn’t it? I thought I was perfect too! But nope. Turns out, I’m not. Who knew!?
So, with all of that said, I want to tell you about something that happened in my latest argument with my honey. Now, he is the exact opposite from me. Polar opposite. His way to handle a problem? Clam up; don’t talk; wait for it to pass.
Bless his heart.
Now, you read all that stuff I just said about me, right? If you were a fly on the wall during one of our spats, I can assure you you’d be quite entertained. Honestly, though – (and don’t tell him this) – I admire him for the way he is. In the same way that he admires my being “passionate,” I admire his being level-headed. Calm. Well, that is, until I’m pissed. And then? Then I think he’s….well….crazy. Unhealthy. A ticking time bomb. He needs to let that junk out of his system!
In other words, I guess we’re both flawed. It just happens to be in exact opposite ways.
Well, last night – as it has a few times in the past – those flaws came into play during a stupid argument. I wanted to talk; he didn’t. So, I marched my crazy self over to his house to make him talk. When I first got there, he was asleep. (Asleep? Asleep!? You think that is an excuse not to text me back??) 😉 After an unwelcomed chuckle from his half-asleep ramblings (he saw me and said in a slurred voice, “What are you doing in the band room?”…oh my gosh, I can’t even type that without laughing again – what the heck was that boy dreaming about?…), we got down to business. We (I) ranted and raved and discussed every little thing each of us have ever done wrong in our lives from the time we exited our mother’s wombs. Or, at least it seemed like that. Then, eventually, we chilled out and finally actually discussed the issue like we should have all along.
We’re fine now. We still have problems, and always will (we’re human), but this catastrophe was avoided at least.
Now, back to the picture I posted at the beginning. (See? I’m telling you this story for a reason. And you thought I was just rambling….)
At one point during the argument, he got up and went into the kitchen to get a bottle of water. (I know, right!? How dare him walk away when I’m ranting…) He came back into the room, and I took a deep breath and resumed where I had left off without missing a beat. And in the midst of my continued rant, you know what he did?
He handed me a drink of water.
Here I was, hoarse from all the fussing at the poor man, and he hands me a drink of water to help me continue.
Isn’t that amazing? You can be irate at someone – think that they are the craziest, most insane, irrational person alive – and yet when you love them, you still make sure they’re comfortable. Make sure they know you love them.
These are the moments, people. Not the candlelit dinners, not the flowers, not the cute little pet names.
The times the people you love are being anything but loveable – and you love them anyway. The parent tucking in the child that just screamed “I hate you!” at them just before they fell asleep; the pet that still runs up to you and welcomes you home when you’ve left it alone all day; the adult child of an Alzheimer’s patient still patiently lifting a spoon to the mouth that curses them in confusion; the boyfriend who hands a drink of water to the woman who has just hurt his feelings.
These are the moments.
Don’t forget to notice them. OK?
“Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit.”
– Peter Ustinov